Andrew Labott | Do Well By Others

JANUARY 28, 2020

Born and raised in Wisconsin, Andrew says words like bag and mom with an accent. He’s taught himself to pronounce them conventionally, but I make him use them Midwestern-style one morning at breakfast, just so I can hear it. Good-natured as always, he agrees, and we laugh together at how it sounds.

Besides his willingness to humor my sometimes excessive—and annoying—demands, the (perhaps more relevant) byproduct of Andrew’s Wisconsin upbringing is his unfailing kindness, which I believe is the reason that our friendship has flourished. (So much, in fact, that people are often surprised to learn that we were not friends before this year.) He tells me that, at home, the way of life is just a little slower. I think the stereotype is true; people are more friendly and more giving with their time. And I think I learned to show my appreciation and my affection for people through doing things for them, which a lot of people in my town did as well.

It was this friendliness and generosity that first stood out to me, and that have continued to speak volumes about his character. From breakfasts at the round table in the kitchen, to frantic quesadilla-making at one in the morning, to episodes of the Bachelor watched together on weekday nights—I have come to love Andrew for the selflessness with which he practices friendship, and for the understanding and compassion that he displays in all that he does. I do not exaggerate when I say that he might be one of the best people that I have ever met.

It is unsurprising to me, then, that he wants to become a doctor. He tells me, I’m really passionate about helping people and their lives in a very tangible way. Much of this passion derives from his mother, a nurse: I saw how much she cared about her patients and how much her patients loved her, and when I was young, I really saw her as—wow, you’re saving people’s lives. He is fascinated by the intersection of people and science, and of the tangible differences that he can effect through the field of medicine.

But he studies public policy at Stanford, and for good reason. I think that our lives are so impacted by government. It’s kind of crazy that we, as a group of human beings, have agreed to be governed—that we have organized ourselves into a society—and I think there’s so much power and privilege in that. He has personally witnessed the instrumental role of government in providing food, healthcare, and social security to individuals who rely on these services, and he believes that government is just so fundamental to our existence in some ways, and that it is therefore necessary to understand how we can best use that power, and evaluate whether or not these programs are making a difference.

(Like I said, Andrew is just a really freaking good person. It’s honestly infuriating at times, but I can’t even be mad at him for it.)

Yet his experiences at Stanford have also been, at times, difficult. He admits that, throughout high school, he built a lot of his sense of self-worth around achievement. My identity is doing well in school, and I think that I wasn’t fully ready to understand what that would mean in the context of Stanford. It was really hard to figure out who I was separate from my achievements. (Side note: people do not talk about this enough. But Stanford can be a real bitch sometimes—a really unforgiving place—and I think it would be just a little bit better if we all acknowledged this. If we helped each other up.)

One of the key factors in easing his transition has been the friends and safe spaces that he has cultivated at school. I think I’ve come to realize that my happiness is so much more about the people around me and the community that I’ve been able to build. I still am continuing, to this day, to figure out that there are other things in my life that give me value and give me purpose. But each person I’ve seen has helped me grow and understand myself. To know that I’ve come so far has made me so happy. I wish I could relay to you the smile in his voice at this moment. He says this last part with joy.

He has also grown from the new experiences and discoveries that he has made—and indeed, actively sought—throughout his time in college. I really am motivated to expose myself, whether to new people, or new music, or new food, or new knowledge. He is driven by environments that encourage freedom of thought and expression, which he believes pushed him to work hard in high school, and continue to inspire him now. He tells me that this, more than anything, is what he values about Stanford. I want to be the best person I can be for other people. And I think I am motivated by being around people who are thoughtful, caring, intelligent—I want to be better and more knowledgeable and generally a better person, a better human being, for them.

This is where he derives purpose. From those around him, and the experiences that they can share, together.

I ask him about a memorable time when he tried something new. Junior year, a member of his costaff invited him to participate in an interactive play. I said yes because I was in the mindset of, I have to do something new and different—something that scares me. It was amazing. I loved it. It gave me a little more confidence in myself, like, this was something scary, and I did it, and now I’m a little less scared about it. He laughs. After, I was like, hmm, is that how life is supposed to work? You do the things that scare you, and maybe they won’t scare you as much anymore?

But for someone who talks so much about fear, Andrew is remarkably fearless. Whether he is instigating fights with an older brother twice his size, or backpacking the Rocky Mountains and commemorating the experience with a Colorado tattoo, or even just running into the Pacific Ocean in the middle of January, laughing with the exhilaration that comes from being alive—he is the kind of person who never allows anything or anyone to stand in the way of his dreams. He is the kind of person who lives with purpose, and who never tires of learning what that purpose might mean for others. He is the kind of person who makes those around him happier and better—he has certainly made me happier and better—and for that, I am beyond lucky to call him my friend.

Photo courtesy of Andrew Labott